Disciplining with the long-range goal means keeping in mind the independent adult you want your child to become. While it is important to discuss your childs feelings, it is also important to help them understand how others might feel from their aggressive behavior. Adults are encouraged to evaluate the reasoning behind the no: is it truly unsafe/unhealthy, or is it just inconvenient? During an outburst, tell children, I understand your anger. Most of the time, they are unable to identify and verbalize what they are feeling. However, if you observe a family or classroom that uses this approach, you might be surprised to discover that the children respond quite well to Montessori discipline methods. Montessori letters provide a tactile, sensory experience for children. Using lessons that model good behavior and get students to practice an alternative, good behavior is much more effective than using negative reinforcement. Encourage those activities to which they take naturally rather than engaging them in activities because you think they need to learn something. A democratic parenting style is recommended, rather than the authoritarian style with which most of us grew up. Educators and schools that use the Montessori Method create orderly spaces that help the student to learn how they should act within the space. Book recommendations to help with aggressive behavior/improve emotional intelligence: If your child is in daycare or preschool, have an open communication with the caregiver or teacher. It can be easy to fall into a be obedient or else mode of discipline, especially as children get older. If it was related to a boundary, explain why that boundary exists and what would happen if they crossed that boundary. And if all our children here from us are a bunch of instructions and directives they are not going to listen to us. These everyday living skills such as pouring, scrubbing tables, dish washing, and polishing, also help the child learn to focus his attention and complete a task. Timeout, as a practice of negative reinforcement, is generally discouraged in the Montessori Method, but lets understand why that is. 4-WEEK E-COURSE Setting up your home Montessori-style, 2-WEEK BOOTCAMP Setting up a Montessori playgroup, a handy checklist here for setting limits Montessori-style, 1. Probably one of the most worrying things to witness as a parent is seeing your perfect little angel turn into a mean machine that bites, kicks, and hits playmates. This is often the stage at which most parents and educators stop developing discipline in children because their only goal is obedience to authority. Obviously, your child may get upset or even mad at you, but this is far better than seeing them hurt other kids. Instead of seeing the parent or educator as a hindrance to their natural desires, they will begin to see figures of authority as facilitators and gain respect for parents, educators, and other authorities. Kindergarten is the perfect time to teach and model the social graces that we want children to mimic. Just as the very young child must first learn to stand before she can walk, she must develop an inward order through work before she is able to choose and carry out her own acts. Read more about improved Emotional Intelligence here. Your email address will not be published. A Montessori approach to discipline builds intrinsic motivation instead. How can parents bring this type of discipline home from the classroom? 1) Take care of all people and living things in our environment, and 2) Take care of all of the material things in our environment. So, for children of all ages, it is crucial to give them the maximum freedom possible within their range of choices. Although it might feel like youre in the, Read More The 24 Best Montessori Books for Parents and TeachersContinue, Sandpaper letters are traditionally used in a Montessori education, but can be easily incorporated whether you follow Montessori principles or not. Whether your child will be attending a Montessori school or you are simply, Read More Montessori Language: Curriculum and Materials for SuccessContinue, Montessori books can be helpful when it comes to any aspect of parenting or teaching. You can read a book together or draw people feeling different kinds of emotions. So much information in this post. Gift Guide: Best Montessori Toys for Babies 0-12 Months, Gift Guide: Best Montessori Toys for 1 Year Olds, Gift Guide: Best Montessori Toy Ideas for 18 Month Olds, Gift Guide: Best Montessori Toy Ideas for 2 Year olds, Gift Guide: Best Montessori Toy Ideas for 3 Year Olds, Gift Guide: Best Montessori Gift Ideas for Preschoolers 4 and 5 Years Old, third level of obedience as defined by the Montessori Method, is generally discouraged in the Montessori Method, parents practice the Montessori Method of discipline at home. Montessori reading in itself is taught in quite a, Read More How to Teach Reading the Montessori WayContinue, Using Montessori at home might require a bit of initial work as you set up, but once you get started, you might be surprised to find that it feels quite natural. If you feel more comfortable, leave the space until your child is calm. Freedom within limits You may have heard the phrase freedom within limits. This means the child does have a lot of freedom, yet there are a few clear limits to keep themselves, others and the environment safe. Your email address will not be published. When children are continuously told that they are bad, crazy, wrong or aggressive, they begin to believe it. I love this course. For one, its embarrassing your childs behavior and character is a reflection of your parenting. Discover your triggers and then do your best to avoid them in the future. 4. If you notice your child becoming aggressive when angry, offer a different way to express their anger. One of the things that aroused her greatest interest was that order and discipline seemed to be so closely united that they resulted in freedom. While each child is certainly very different, meeting them where they are, acknowledging their feelings, and working together to understand what went wrong is key for continued success. As parents, we must guide our children towards respectful behaviors and interactions with others. Always watch your own behavior around your child. . Montessori discipline methods involve a calmer, quite level of intervention. A child might be more inclined for a meltdown or tantrum if: If you are able to determine the root cause of the tantrum, for example that your child is over-tired, you will better be able to address the behavior. | 20+ At Home Activities, 45+ Montessori Sensorial Activities and Materials, Montessori Practical Life: Activities and Ideas to Build Skills, The 13 Best Montessori Blogs for Tips & Inspiration, Treats children as equals with parents as a guide, Provides opportunities for problem solving, Allows children to process their own emotions, Focuses on internal motivation rather than rewards/bribes, Labels, acknowledges and defines emotions, Provide freedom within limits with clear, consistent boundaries, Allow quiet time for children to calm down and/or process, Practice respectful communication both ways, Demonstrate or assist the child with making amends, Help the child understand the consequences of their actions, Ask the child how those effected might be feeling, They cant exert independence in the ways they wish, They have been rewarded for bad behavior with attention. These conversations will build trust between the parent or educator and the child; they will also remind the children that you respect them, their desires, and their emotions and help them to give you that respect in return. Help child if they are having a hard time Ill link to an article I wrote about helping children having a tantrum. If you find that something is triggering, take a moment to go calm down. Our children are learning to be a part of the family not because they get a reward, but its about caring for each other. No matter how diligent we are about creating a calm environment, all children get overwhelmed at some point. In one such incident, a five-year-old acted as the peacemaker for two children engaged in an escalating disagreement. amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; Below are some discipline strategies you can employ to protect yourself and them from harm while teaching them better ways of handling their feelings and managing their behavior. Kind and clear limits When we are clear on the house rules, the children are too. I cant wait for some uninterrupted me time to sit down and dig into it all. These choices allow them to assert themselves in the situation and ensure that they are able to get what they want. From newborns to toddlers and beyond, Montessori practices have the power to foster independence, confidence and joy at all stages. What impresses you most about discipline in Montessori? If you notice your child is starting to show aggressive behavior, and you both cannot leave, tell your child to stay by your side until he is safe to play with others. But freedom and discipline are loaded words in the African-American household. Children enrolled in schools that utilize the Montessori Method will be encouraged to develop into self-respecting and self-disciplined individuals. While the ultimate goals of writing and reading literacy remain the same, the Montessori approach likely differs from that which most are familiar. Biting and Hitting It can be startling for parents to see children choosing aggressive behaviors. Providing one step at a time or one choice at a time helps children develop a sense of autonomy without feeling overwhelmed or out of control. If the child likes books and stories, get more picture books. Respectful communication We speak and listen to our children with respect. Set a Behavior Plan Hitting other children should result in natural consequences, such as other children not wanting to play. Disclosure: This post may contain some affiliate links (at no cost to you). In this video we explore Montessori in 5 minutes, breaking down the core understandings to help you better apply the principles of Montessori in your home. Children dont just automatically know how to be a friend, express anger, or how to solve problems. How is reading taught in Montessori? 1) speech activity- you can teach sounds or phonetics slowly like vowels as its used every word. Why the Montessori Discipline Discourages Hitting Your child's brain is flooded with information on a daily basis. This is why its important to not show big reactions whenever your child exhibits such behavior, or they may repeat the behavior to get that kind of attention from you. However, you can use this to observe when your child is showing negative behavior. These lessons require the child to follow an orderly step by step process, which will further develop both self discipline and logical thinking, thus laying a foundation for the more abstract academic activities offered within the other areas of the classroom. In reality, Montessori falls in the middle of these two extremes. As children move into elementary school, it is important to continue to talk about choices and consequences often. This approach assumes the best of children, collaborates with them, and empowers them to develop self-discipline and problem-solving skills. Montessori discipline is likely going to feel a bit unnatural or challenging when youre just getting started, but with a little time and practice, youll find that both you and your child adapt quite well. In this post, I will be focusing specifically on how to handle toddler biting, but many of these tips will work for other types of aggressive behavior such as hitting or kicking. This applies not only to actions, but the way adults handle emotions and relationships as well. A Montessori approach to toilet training, 4. Children need to feel that they have an important position in the home, which is why it is crucial to foster their interests rather than foisting interests on them. Parents are often concerned that the Montessori childs freedom to choose activities presupposes that discipline is something alien to our classrooms. Regardless of whether you have a baby, toddler or school-aged child, its never too early or too late to begin incorporating Montessori methods at, Read More Montessori At Home | 9 Ways to Use Montessori Methods at HomeContinue, Montessori vs traditional schooling options both claim to support the child but anyone who spends time in both environments is quick to note just how different they appear. It is on that foundation of freedom and structure that the child builds discipline. When the child can do things for herself, she will feel confident and in control. When they are melting down, its impossible to rationalise with them. However, there are many things you can do to address this behavior. Model the behaviors you want to see from your children. Categories Behavior and Discipline, Montessori Parenting, Home Montessori Parenting Montessori Discipline: Why Toddlers Bite and How to Make it Stop. Big reactions like this, however, do more harm than good. Ive updated this post and added more articles. To be consistent with the discipline used in the classroom the parenting style at home should emphasize respect for the childs feelings, choices within acceptable limits, encouragement, conflict resolution, and natural and logical consequences for behavior. Thank you for this post and the videos, very helpful. Children who are happily engaged in self-satisfying activities with a clear purpose experience a great sense of accomplishment and power. To understand and absorb a Montessori approach to discipline, its helpful to read and re-read the basic concepts. Free choice is the ultimate goal. No, they cant have another cookie; no, they cant choose their own outfit; no, they cant play outside at lunchtime. You can talk about what is bothering them. Use the rules above to talk about and validate those emotions while still providing the natural consequences of outbursts of anger or frustration. 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