He thinks you are too emotional sometimes, but you know theres more to it. 28. Log Out. My husband feels like I am useless, he does nothing to help around the house and does nothing to help with our daughter. Hes just pissed off because he has to go to work while you are at home taking care of yourself and baby - Hes the lazy pig and being childish - its not because you are at home that you are his slave and have to do everything - how dare he call you names ! Then come back to the topic of your need to be your own person and do things with your friends. So I am currently 20 weeks 2 days with a baby girl after a loss of twin girls last year. Go have some man you hate use your hole and submit to him regularly for years before you dare accuse women of withholding or weaponising sex! It may be time to walk away. I try to remember that when I want to complain about something and it quickly changes my perspective. A few observations and adjustments could help change harmful patterns between you. Symptmes de grossesse ne jamais ignorer, Moyens naturels pour dclencher l'accouchement. But now I can barely resist not running out the door, leaving him forever. Im the furthest thing from a lazy mom. If hes bathing the child, he has to finish the job which includes clean up of the bathroom. However, some people grow apart. You can save your marriage if your husband is willing to seek help. I completely agree with all of the above. But, if its something like dirty clothes on the floor after he successfully gave your toddler a bath and the toddler is happy maybe let it go. Like you know where it goes. We live in isolation, with no friends. Hi all I see a lot of people on here who like birth stories and wanted to share mine I checked into the hospital at 5:00 AM yesterday (2/16), I was due 2/23 so I was 39+0. However, some men are not interested in taking care of daily tasks. When he is around I just have to leave because his presence makes me irrational and angry. If not checked, such little annoyances can grow to be larger problems. Now that I'm further along I just can't stand him. I have had to apologize a few times to them! After the first trimester things got a little better though. In the beginning of our relationship, I loved his attention and he made me feel like I was his everything. Everything he does makes me want to strangle him. Listen and find ways to fix the issue as a team. MEG REMY: Because of how it sounds, how it starts.It hits. But she was not a prisoner in her own house. I was so shocked, I confided in my sister-in-law. Encourage your husband to speak with his family about a situation that upsets you, even if hes uncomfortable doing it. Press J to jump to the feed. Any act or comment that seems dismissive or insulting only makes things worse. At the end of the day I do appreciate his help even though it drives me bananas sometimes. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I know I could have it a lot worse but is it possible to suffer from postpartum depression before the baby is even born. Ask yourself these questions: Asking the above questions reveals some important details. My girlfriends tell me he is causing me terrible emotional damage and said they will take me in. I left him before and we almost got a divorce. I still love and care for him deeply, but I cant bear to be around him. Lol at least youre trying to put the claws away. We ended up writing out a contract of how to conduct ourselves around one another and each party signed it. I dont know what to do. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/, I got pregnant from a drunken one-night stand after an evening out, My husband was shocked I was pregnant but supportive and understanding, I felt full of regrets straight after the one-night stand with my colleague, Denise Welshclaimssexual cheating wasn't as bad as emotional infidelity on Loose Women, My fiancee refuses to apologise for jibe about my brother's fiancee's wedding dress, Frankie cheats on Anne while she's away on holiday, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). Now I dont care about what anyone thinks, I just want my freedom back. Again, you are using the phrase, turn you own to reach into his subconscious and make a mark. My Breastfeeding Toddler Doesn't Want to Wean. When I was reviewing what my client was telling me, I felt sad for her but also realized her emotions were all over the place. & sometimes Ill half do the dishes too & oh , wont tie the trash up either if Im very tired. He may not know how to tell you hes not confident enough. I sometimes wonder how my dog isn't bald lol. Well, I talked about this in this post if you wish to gain some greater insights, https://www.marriagerecovery.com/did-i-marry-the-wrong-man-for-me/. Couldve written this myself lol. The good news is you and your husband can change the course of your marriage together. It's very normal due to hormones, I hated my husband my first pregnancy too! We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. It isn't a rough patch or something that I will work through. Before I got pregnant again things were going great. And partly because it is easier for a 21-year-old to impress a 17-year-old girl than it is a 41-year-old to impress a woman of 37. Is my husbands reaction to my drunken mistake his way of telling me that we are just best friends? He does work long hours and does 4 on 5 off rotations. (Sorry for my bad English. Sometimes when he kisses me all I can think about is how gross it is. I just want to give you a giant hug! Same goes for me, not so much hates though, He just annoys me so much. If the shoe was on the other foot & the husband said this about the wife , YIKES!!! Do not let him continue to treat you this way! . We tend to unthinkingly follow the examples of our parents, who are following their parents in turn. I wouldn't expect the change to occur quickly, or necessarily at all. If you find a solution, please share. He wont resume the conversation, no matter what. Its up to every struggling couple to make this choice for themselves. But don't expect to . Divorce is only changing one set of problems for another. Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Set boundaries. He was shocked but supportive and understanding. I already have BOrderline personality disorder, so I don't bond well or have relationships. I always do laundry so lately Ive been telling him to do laundry when I want to relax so hell do laundry but then sometimes leave a basket or two unfolded or fold the kids clothes and then not put them away or instruct our 6 year old to put his away. Something is like wrong with men. Ive told him many times and he never takes it seriously. When one person needs a break, the other should pick up the slack and vice versa. The choose your battles is so important in any relationship, but especially crucial in marriage and raising children. We arent deliberately withhold sex from them as punishment. My husband use to be very kind and caring but changed since I became pregnant. We check in at 7 AM and had Pitocin started at 8:45 AM. His response was I work and your a lazy sow :( I feel crazy for being so upset, I know the hormones are raging and I know I am sensitive. He fixed our garage door, does all of the snow blowing, etc. When someone is interested in being intimate with their partner but gets pushed away often, there can be frustration and resentment. Would you like your daughter to think she must do the bidding of her spouse even if to reach her potential she needed to do something else? That did not mean she was not suffering and that she was perfectly content with her husband and his behavior. Ups and downs are regular in marriages. Doesnt notice when I have done it. Married nearly 10 years, together 17. I felt a connection with everyones comment and simply knowing Im not alone makes me feel better. I can't stand my husband. My husband annoys me bad but I never let myself treat him badly. She would often get irritated with me for not being able to keep my hands to myself." "I still found her attractive, but I was terrified about the upcoming fatherhood and a little uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with her. Dont get me started on when he starts asking me to do stuff because hes holding baby. What was I thinking? My husband has the bad habits of leaving messes all over the house and I'm constantly going around after him picking up. If youre looking for more clarity, look at the following examples. He thinks thats all he needs to be. Other than the diaper agree. Ready, here we go. I know he is just trying to hurt me. I am tired of being picked on all the time. He did laundry last weekend and left the babys clothes in the basket! This is why there are vows. I watched a video where a mom explains that when men do half a chore or do something like bathing kids but dont clean up its just again dumping the mental/physical load back on the wife. How the heck do they think we do it when theres no one to help!? I hope things improve for you.. so sorry you have to deal with this! Ive never done anything like that before. You get the impression your husband is lazy and blind to the household needs. But when a man over-prioritizes social time with his friends, he may not realize its impact on his marriage. GOT a story? And if they stayed together it is only out of fear of the unknown but I bet they are splitty splits! With all the changes going on with her body, a pregnant mom can get insecure. By week 14, I was super clingy and needy and couldn't get enough of my husband. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. This often leads to poor money management, illegal activities, intoxicated driving, and sometimes endangering themselves or family members. I dont live with my babies dad and lord when he comes over its like a hurricane. other than the diaper, it does sound like you're nitpicking. Sometimes a husband wants to be a better parent but is intimidated and anxious. I DO HONEY. If your husband is unwilling to get treatment, your marriage has little future. For the last while every time he comes near me I flinch and when he touches me I literally get shivers, and not in a good way. She explained that she has been married and feeling miserable for quite some time now and needed somebody to talk her down from some of her worst fears, emotions, and feelings. So, if something is genuinely a problem then you can work toward a solution by communicating to your partner. Now im pregnant again I cant stand him. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. yes its so bad. I just need to figure out a clean way out. But since they had gotten married, they did everything together and the importance of her outside life had gotten lost on her. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. DEIDRE SAYS:Or could it be that your husband realises that he doesnt want to lose you over one much-regretted mistake? All rights reserved. Omg , yessss!!!! . 100% of the time the chores didnt get completed is because the baby needed me more in that moment and I was rushing. I don't think you are crazy or hormonal at all. He appears not to care you're pregnant and you're feeling unsupported. Being significantly overweight or underweight is also known to disrupt fertility. When the husband does a chore its not helping anyways. Ask Philippa Marriage. gotta do it to live but damn could you just NOT. You may wonder why you and your husband repeatedly have the same problems. I agree. My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always. They were at a crossroads, neither understanding what was truly important to the other and nor did they understand the important tenets of marriage. I can't stand my husband. Especially if he really hasn't done anything to upset you. I couldnt go near my husband when pregnant with my dd. I hope things get better. I think her dh is capable of finishing what he started hes just choosing not to. While this was not the case in this situation, what if you really feel you married the wrong guy? Getting Pregnant . I don't think you should be making excuses for him either. Defeating Divorce is the preferred educational source that helps couples of all backgrounds fortify and gain clarity in their romantic relationships. Help me please! I never thought hed be interested in me but the sexual chemistry was electric. Both husbands and wives enjoy relaxation time. I'm somewhere in the middle. Marriage isn't always a walk in the park. Sexless Marriage: Causes, Effects, and Solutions, Top Reasons Why Women Cant Stand and Resent Their Husbands, He is Lazy and Doesnt Help Around the House, He is Not Involved When it Comes to Parenting, He Spends More Time With His Friends or Other Activities Than He Does With You, Here Are Some Common Problems in Most Marriages, Drug Addiction and an Unwillingness to Seek Help, You Cant Stand Your Husband Touching You, some men are not interested in taking care of daily tasks, you may not have the in-laws of your dreams, ruin your husbands life and destroy your marriage, revive the energy and restore the connection, 8 Principles for Motivating Your Husband to Take Action WITHOUT Conflict, 6 Healthy Ways to Deal with An Emotionally Immature Husband. Sexual intimacy requires trust and some level of emotional closeness. We have 2 under 2 and life has been so stressful lately. All they know is that if they are not getting it, they are unhappy and will tend to hold it against you. His breath, his body, even his pillow. Sounds like you two need some counseling. I thought I had made the right decision to marry this man. I don't hate my husband but I definitely get a lot more annoyed with him for no reason at all. Help even though it drives me bananas sometimes did everything together and the importance of her outside life had married... Was super clingy and needy and could n't get enough of my husband my pregnancy... Time the chores didnt get completed is because the baby is even born wont tie the trash up if. Sexual chemistry was electric, no matter what moment and I are safely! Had made the right decision to marry this man just choosing not to just best friends things.! Am useless, he just annoys me so much hates though, does... Sometimes, but especially crucial in marriage and raising children, no matter what him picking.. Sex from them as punishment the husband said this about the wife YIKES. Patch or something that I & # x27 ; t expect to dog &! 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